Love is a force that can hold the space between “self” and “other.”
Relationship is the quality of space between “self” and “other.”
Being in love with an “other,”
and having a good relationship with them
are two different issues.
Whether the “other” is people, work, things, etc…
Looking to exchange gifts with your co-founder (or spouse)?
Here’s an idea.
Each day, write down one thing they did—that day or long ago—you genuinely appreciated. (Especially if it’s embarrassing to admit.)
On Christmas day,
People have a need to feel appreciated for what they want to be appreciated in the way they want. Merely being appreciated for what we appreciate in the way we want to show appreciation can leave them unfulfilled.
So end by asking, “What one thing do you wish I’d appreciate about what you do and how do you want me to show it?”
May we design our interactions for fulfillment.
Computer literacy is all the rage these days.
It’s certainly nice to be computer literate. Important, even.
What about human literacy?
How to love.
How to grieve.
How to be be confident.
How to understand yourself.
How to manage your emotions.
How to fulfill each other’s needs.
How to be different with each other.
How to be honest despite fear of vulnerability.
…
We rarely pay attention to these. It’s as if we’re expected to just know how to do these things without training.
It’s often only after we have lost something precious (i.e. health, money, marriage) that we begin to pay attention to them.
By then it may be too late.
We need to start human literacy much sooner.
